To say that the Madame Web project was already destined for failure long before its release is a mild understatement. Since its inception and in the earliest trailers, there were clear indications of potential disaster. A Spider-Man spin-off without Spider-Man, featuring characters unknown to most audiences, set it up for challenges from the start. Now that the film has been released, with Sony Pictures attempting, but failing effectively, to limit exposure to press and audience (no press screenings or public advance showings scheduled), we can confirm both its failure and the misleading nature of its promotion. This is why the project can be considered close to false advertising.
Sincerely, one does not know where to begin this Madame Web review as the result is surreal. Nothing works in the film. The story is tedious to the point of exasperation, with no discernible narrative structure, editing so disjointed that it seems amateurish, staging equally uninspired, and action scenes reduced to two pitiful sequences that are poorly executed. Special effects are subpar, dialogues are overly simplistic as if generated by a basic AI model like ChatGPT, and the actors do not seem invested in their roles. In short, it is a disaster. We will proceed under the assumption that you will not see this film, allowing us to discuss it freely with spoilers. There is nothing redeeming about this footage. However, for your sake, it might be wise to save yourself 10 euros. Given current inflation rates, that could make a difference.
DECEPTIVE ADVERTISING
One of the most concerning aspects of Madame Web is its marketing and how misleading the trailers and teasers have been. We were led to believe the story would focus on Madame Web with Dakota Johnson as Cassie Web, along with three Spider-Women portrayed by Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O’Connor, and Isabela Merced. However, this approach borders on deceptive advertising since our three Spider-Women appear for only 15 seconds at the beginning and 15 seconds at the end of the film, both in dream sequences or future events. We see the three girls in their costumes solely through the antagonist Ezekiel’s nightmares, played by Tahar Rahim, but never in the actual narrative of the film. Therefore, if you were hoping to watch Madame Web for scenes featuring three Spider-Women fighting in their costumes, you will be disappointed.
It is evident that those expecting an exciting spectacle from Madame Web will be disappointed. The movie runs for 1 hour and 52 minutes but features only two action scenes, both of which are poorly executed. S.J. Clarkson’s camera work is strikingly bland, characterized by a few steadycam rotations and over-the-shoulder shots that fail to showcase any flair in staging action sequences. It is clear she lacks the ability to film action scenes effectively, particularly given that her main characters do not possess any powers. Cassie Web has yet to fully develop her abilities, which mainly consist of precognition, while the three young Spider-Women are depicted as merely obnoxious teenagers. Consequently, it is unrealistic to pit characters who are at a basic civilian level against an antagonist with full powers, comparable to those of Spider-Man, leading to a significant imbalance. Ezekiel possesses the ability to stick to walls, make giant leaps, be incredibly fast and resilient, and have Spider-Man’s strength; however, he fails to neutralize the three women, who manage to defeat him by either knocking him down or using a defibrillator. This reverses the power dynamic, rendering the stakes irrelevant. Ezekiel is portrayed as so weak that he gets knocked out by a Pepsi-Cola billboard. The great villain Ezekiel dies after taking the ‘S’ from a Pepsi-Cola billboard to the face. An antagonist with Spider-Man’s powers on paper… I cannot emphasize enough how absurd this portrayal is. It is distressing to see that the writers seem to have no understanding of the original material at all, given their previous work on films such as Dracula Untold, Gods of Egypt, Power Rangers, and Morbius, which offered little hope for improvement in this production.
Sponsored by Pepsi
The film “Madame Web” has been critically unsuccessful due to several issues including a dull plot, poor editing, incoherent narration, unremarkable staging, and ineffective action sequences. The marketing for the movie was misleading, as it heavily promoted scenes featuring three Spider-Women that only briefly appear in dream sequences. In fact, there are just two weak action scenes that inadequately depict the characters’ underdeveloped powers against a supposedly formidable villain, Ezekiel, who is rendered powerless by trivial means such as a Pepsi billboard. The actors seem disengaged throughout, and overall, the film is a disappointing and deceptive offering from Sony Pictures. It is recommended to avoid this film in order to save both money and time.
For the rest, know that in terms of storyline, this Madame Web takes great liberties compared to the comics, and quite honestly, I do not consider it problematic; in fact, I find it commendable. People complaining because it’s not comic-accurate are showing a lack of open-mindedness. If films respect the source material, it is always a positive aspect, but personally, I prefer when screenwriters add their personal touch. So that Cassie Web isn’t portrayed as a 70-year-old blind woman with myasthenia paralyzing her body does not bother me at all. Here, we’re dealing with an origin story aiming to introduce the character to the general public and especially to attract a new, younger audience, which is quite logical if you want to appeal to as many people as possible. That the films propose their own version is not an issue, but that they do so with such disregard is unforgivable. And this lack of care for respecting the viewer is evident from the very introduction scene meant to present Ezekiel, the main antagonist of the film and the reason Cassie Web will gain her clairvoyant powers. An antagonist played by Tahar Rahim, who tries his best to give substance to a character unfortunately written without depth. More clichéd and black-and-white as a villain is hard to imagine; it’s like we’ve gone back to 80s schlock where writers didn’t bother with nuance in crafting their antagonists.
Friendship Thoughts for Tahar Rahim…
Tahar Rahim gives his best performance, speaking English with a perfect accent, but his character is poorly written, making it painful to watch in such a poor production. Additionally, he is not alone in trying; Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O’Connor, and Isabela Merced also appear constrained by the project, as if they were misled about the nature of the film at some point. The film had a budget of around $80 million, yet this investment is barely noticeable on screen. It resembles an old TV series, with outdoor shooting that feels confined to indoor settings, and tight shots that lack grandeur, raising questions about where the funds were spent. For comparison, ‘The Creator’ by Gareth Edwards had a similar budget, while Japan’s ‘Godzilla Minus One’ cost less than $15 million, prompting serious concerns. This is indeed an unfortunate day for cinema. With films like ‘Madame Web’, ‘Chiens & Chats’, and ‘Maison de Retraite’ in theaters this week, it feels challenging to find worthwhile movies. It might be best to wait until next week when two highly anticipated films, ‘Sleep’ by Jason Yu and ‘The Underwater Kingdoms’, are set to release. Those will truly represent real cinema.
